May 2025 Update along with the first week of June

In the month of May, we’ve had espressos with Yvonne, a chicken pie dinner chez nous with Penny – with Pierre coming ahead for drinks, a big luncheon at Penny’s for 15 of us, dinners at Solea and the Provençal with Bill & Lilan who stayed with us from the 2nd to the 15th, a dinner at home which Bill cooked and with neighbour Guy, and coffee with Liliane when she came by. At the Calalou, Richard & I had margaritas on the 16th and again on the 21st with

Joanne. So far in June, Gin and Catherine took us to the crêperie for a dinner, the day before they returned to England. That evening, in celebration of Joanne’s birthday, we had dinner chez elle with Yvonne and enjoyed a negroni variant with cognac instead of gin. It was a late night.

Re. health, our local GP put Richard on antibiotics, and he is now finally after four months much better. With my iron, I am low on transferine (2,01 g/t & should be between 2.15-3.65). Richard’s oxygen reading was 90 before we did a walk and 96 after. And at Ophtamax in Saint Maximum, both of us received good assessments with regard to our eyes. However, following that visit, Richard has developed a heart-shaped black spot with his left eye. Once it is daylight, it disappears. We returned to Ophtamax and learned that it is the start of macular degeneration. Richard is handling this stoically and well, but it has been a depressing revelation.

We have attended a Centre Culturel meeting contre le décharge. This month’s Soteria was concerned with Shakespeare and love. We attended the village’s St. Pancras procession and handing out of bread. On the day of the fountain-dunking part of the fête, we had to give up waiting and rush back home for an online session with Scott who was able to restore my Google & gmail.

We Zoomed on the 6th quasi-successfully with Coral & Nancy and then Rosie but with Anna getting in only for the last 5 minutes. We were all more successful on the 13th.

This month’s cinema at Penny’s included a reseeing with Jessica, Twig & Carol of Black Bag which I enjoyed as much as the first time. Another evening at Penny’s we met Robin & Ryan and watched Bryan Singer’s The Usual Suspects which we had originally seen thirty years ago. Another evening, it was Cabrini. None of us had ever heard of her. Heavy film, but I am glad to have seen it – with Wendy, Twig & Carol. In addition to these, and just with Penny,

we watched Marriage Story with Adam Driver and Scarlett Johanson. I especially found her fascinating but the film itself was too long, too real and not really enjoyable.

For reading, I finished Paul Murray’s The Bee Sting. I have mixed emotions about it and shrugged it all off with its non-ending ending. I was otherwise mesmerised by William Kowalski’s Somewhere South of Here – his sequel to Eddie’s Bastard. I also have read Marshall Rosenberg’s Speak Peace in a World of Conflict. Rather New Age but with some good ideas. My next read was Naomi Klein’s Doppelganger: A Trip into the Mirror World and am horrified over the stalemate bi-polarity of our world and the loss of any sense of a

workable humanity and advance. I want now in my final days to argue for an Earthen Cosmopolitanism that bypasses capitalism, war, and divisive nationalisms for a concentration on the planet’s environment and ecology as well as both global equity and an economy based primarily on city-state exchange. I have long been an advocate of the UBI. In any event, my current reading is now Old Norse Mythology – Comparative Perspectives (2017), edited by Pernille Herman, Stephen A. Mitchell & Jens Peter Schjødt. In this book, so far, I have enjoyed in particular Jonas Wellendorf’s contribution: ‘The Æsir and Their Idols’. He recognises that idolatry has traditionally been a primary sign of paganism but that “there is more to the veneration of statues than one would immediately expect from reading Christian polemics against idolatry.”

The same day that Gin and Catherine departed from us, Robin and Theadora arrived from Paris. Richard and I both very much enjoy the presence of youth. And tonight the 7th of June, we will fetch Amy and Lucia (her daughter; my goddaughter) from the train station at 21:39.

I learned from Jette that Marcia passed peacefully in her sleep on the morning of the 2nd. I also learned from Cherry Hill Seminary via Holli that Kevin Roddy died on 9 April. And then more recently from Giny that Wendela Gevers Deynoot has died on the 18th of May. All three were much younger than Richard or me.

A major accomplishment in May has been the composition of my farewell to email missile which I titled “An incumbent decision” and posted to almost all my email contact as well as putting it on my Facebook page. In the original, I mistakenly identified Audrey’s peonies as begonias:

'After we all had dinner together, Hans Ebenstein later commented to me that my mother “was very easy.” She indeed had a warmth and love for many people, and I have felt my own company-loving nature I inherited from her. Richard continues to remind me that we always wanted to live this long, and that has been true, but with each day now being one of aches and pain one place or another, I’m beginning to feel that enough is enough. “It ain’t for sissies,” Bette Davis remarked about old age.

'I am finally accepting that I can no longer keep-up with email. I could almost say that I am grateful to those of you who do not write, and while I appreciate those who do, I will now need to reduce my own correspondence. I will attempt the occasional posting on Facebook and to maintain some academic interrelations, but the onslaught of financial transactions and reporting, legal matters like wills and so forth, and the continual mal-function of anything electronic or wifi-related all consume too much of the time already. Consequently, I will be writing much less if at all. People are still more than welcome to come to the farm in the Midi or, when it is available, to use the flat in London. But communication henceforth and out of necessity will basically need to cease.

'As difficult as these autumnal years are, I am not complaining. So far, we are not at all close to something like what Theitic is dealing with as Thor has reached the advanced stages of Parkinson’s. Yes, Richard was once a strapping and energetic young man and now weighs even less than I do. His frailty has become a perpetual concern. But despite the sad global mismanagements, we enjoy as much of what personally we have to enjoy – the sun, the piscine, our vegetable garden, as healthy a life-style that seems reasonable but without foregoing the occasional moments of indulgence, our friends, music and the arts, and as much of the quiet life as is possible. And yesterday at the café after noticing the flowers the day before, Audrey presented us with a splendid bouquet of red peonies from her garden.

'While I basically agree that contributing to another’s well-being is essential to our nature, I am less certain that everything we do is in service of our needs.

Compassionate giving is vital, and if it is a fundamental need, it is also a desire. We may indeed be motivated by our needs, but we are also motivated by our desires. They are not always the same thing. And sometimes we desire to be free from various individuals – friends and/or family. We may wish them well but choose no longer to retain contact. There can be pain involved. The rupture with my sister has been for me the most difficult. There have been or are a few other breaks on my part as well. And occasionally, others have rejected me and severed further contact. These become learning experiences at best. One additionally learns to accept them but allow a void of non-communication to be.

'Basically, I retain a relatively high level of acceptance of diversities and difference. My dear friend Jay has called me the most tolerant person he has known. If this is at all true, I believe it is another legacy from my mother. Yes, there may be some limits to open-mindedness, but live and let live and let people be and who they are to whatever degree in which we all may be mutually accommodating! This may be challenging, but tolerance is among the more beautiful of what it means to be human – whether we are speaking about migrants or refugees, people of different colours, the poor, people who engage in different faiths or no faith at all, etc. The very variety of humanity is an endlessly fascinating phenomenon. Can we not generously make room for all?

'It is on a more global level where this ‘non-violent communication’ becomes more essential. We distrust Russia, but Russia distrusts us. And yet what perplexes me is that Russia has produced some of our best writers (e.g., Dostoevsky, Tolstoy) and some of our most enjoyable and even provocative music (Shostakovich, Prokofiev, Rachmaninov, Stravinsky, Khachaturian). How is it that Russia is not a part of the European West? Unfortunately, we have political leaders with their own divisive agendas including leaders who are not only unpredictable but lack any substantial depth. These are dangerous times, and perhaps instability has always been a major aspect of human history, but the scale of violence is now greater and more lethal thanit has ever been previously. And this last suggests an absolute necessity for us to wake up and grow up.

'I am especially in accord with John Dewey’s statement that “Education is not a

preparation for life; education is life itself.” For a beautiful world, learning is at its heart. And the more we come to know, I feel the more compassionate it becomes possible for us to be. But courage is also important. It is incumbent on us to resist lawlessness and atrocity. My hat remains off in honour of Irwin who has renounced his Judaism because of the genocide by Israel of the Palestinians. The demonstrations against Netanyahu and those against Trump along with the over 160 court orders all take courage. What seems to me to be vitally important is to forge a way toward an educated and compassionate world for our children and all those who come after us.

'Let me simply conclude that I have treasured the contacts and exchanges I have had with most of you. My wishes for each of your well-being remains. I have had a good life, and I desire the same for you.'

I have had many responses. Shawn Arthur says, “Much love to you both! We treasure our times together!” Selena Fox: “Much love & Many Blessings, now & always!” Rowan Fairgrove: “All my love and blsessings to you and Richard. Elderhood isn’t easy.” Naomi Ozaniec: “What a wonderful post – your words bless others – that is the true magic.” Jake Freydont-Attie: “beautiful and graceful. love to you and Richard.” Dennis Carpenter: “Peace!” Clarine Michaels: “Bless you, Michael. These are beautiful words.” Sharon Knight:“Wishing you both happiness and laughter. Xxxx” Glenys Livingstone: “thank you Michael - I am cleaning out files, and clothes, letting go and contemplating these things.” Phyllis Winifred: “I am one of those who rarely communicated, not for lack of love or gratitude for you and Richard or your wise and generous sharing, but because of my own struggles with intimacy, often most difficult with those most loved. You are a blessing, always stretching how we think and feel. Abiding love.” Penny: “Thank you for your thoughtful email.” Philip Lucas: “I am sorry to hear of Richard's health challenges but glad to hear you are back in your beloved home in the Midi. We don't correspond often but I have always enjoyed your updates and observations. What a rich life you lead. … I'm glad you can still find the joy and wonder of it all in each moment.” Stead: “ I entirely understand and respect the decision to retract or restrict your participation in various channels of communication; however, going forward, I trust this will not affect our relationship, since it is mainly a periodic face-to-face meeting.” Thorn Coyle: “Sending you love from afar, Michael.” Vicky: “I am a sissie too and I

found your missive too sad.. … Maybe you could dictate messages from time to time and they can be sent out in the written form.” Vivianne Crowley: “Chris and I have just read your mail. We understand completely that you feel the need to

still all the busy-ness and constant communication flow.”

From Bron: “Beth and I send our love, which we share with our offspring. We surmise, hearing that Richard is now weighting less than you, that you are now increasingly in the role of caretaking, adding to the usual flood of correspondence and ongoing professional engagements. I have many professional connections but few close friends, in contrast toyou, so I can only imagine how difficult it is to keep up with so many.” From Bruce: “I have

been a very bad correspondent over the years. I do treasure your emails and works. At first I thought you were going to end your life. Then of course it was just your digital life. I approve, but know that you and Richard are in our hearts and minds.” Doug Cox: “Whenever you write, I treasure it not only for the skill and rhythm coursing throughout but also because you invariably nudge me to communicate after my own fashion. With Wendy’s passing I find myself inexorably drawn inward and away from discourse; it’s a chronic conceit that will eventually claim me, but your beautiful cadences force me to still remember the heartbeat of things bravely expressed and the consequential music of life

insisting upon itself. You are one of the greatest treasures of my life, and I so deeply regret not having come to know you far better.” Freeman: “Oh, no! We are not going to let you go, Michael. You have been a beacon to me for decades and yet you have never been more lucid, focused and vividly human as you are now in this message. Just take a nice nap, and come right back to us. We are not through with you yet, nor are you through with us. I love you Michael as I always have since the day I met you at the foot of the Giza plateau in Egypt. You are, in the words of my cherished Cole Porter, Easy to Love. Your forever friend.”

Holli: “Dearest Michael, I always enjoy receiving your missives to friends, even when I don’t reply. As I approach, shall we say, my late summer (I’ll turn 70 this year) I relate to a lot of what you say. But what inspires me is that you continue to share your still-fertile and fascinating ideas, still keep up with friends, and live your life to its fullest. That’s become a real inspiration to me, especially because of and also completely aside from my own age-related small maladies.” From Gin: “That’s very comprehensive and moving, and a bit too much like part of a funeral elegy you might one day have - you can write it better than any of us perhaps!!” Eileen says: “I love you!” Eamonn sums up: “I completely understand your need to dial back the correspondence. It’s exhausting trying to keep on top of everything.” Kurt: “You are so beloved!” Karel James Bouse: “Dear Michael! Thank you for this beautiful letter. And thank you for all of your support and good wishes over the years.I wish you and your loved ones nothing but joy, warm afternoons and cozy fireside evenings filled with the music, books and people you love. You have been a great inspiration and mentor to many. Of course it's time for you to enjoy the late autumn in comfort and repose. Wishing you joy, peace, comfort and contentment! With respect and affection.” Graham: “love to you both from both of us!” Michael (& Maxim): “Thank you for your sincere and heartfelt words. Your decision and position are completely understandable. I have retreated myself already quite some time ago from social media and indiscriminate email, etc. You are the master of your boundaries, not some pushy, asocial/antisocial trillionaire in California. Or friends In our own world. Meanwhile, my unasked-for advice for you is the same as for any of us: Enjoy each day. Take things as they come. Live each day as if it were your last. Be and stay in awe. Reserve judgement. Be thankful. Make it fun somehow. Love you both.” Nick Campion:

“I treasure our relationship and I hope we will meet again! Love.” Sarah Duffy: “Blessings and much love to you both. May in all things you receive what you need in the highest and best way.”

From cousin Judy: “Michael, I will not bother you with mundane conversations but please continue to let me know how you and Richard are doing. No pressure, but just a quick note. We love you both.” And from cousin Jezznette: “I always enjoy reading your emails. Love hearing about Richard's and your latest adventures. But no way was I expecting to get this news that you two have slowed down! You mentioned Richard's health and I think you wrote at some point that y'all are doing a lot of vegetarian. Two things come to mind: have you tried having more red meat? Like, a lot more. I used to be almost all vegi but recently switched to lots of red meat. And also, are y'all getting out into the sun a lot? What exactly is going on with Richard?”

From Kelly:

Oh Dear Michael,

With a sadness in my heart, although an emense feeling of gratefullness and

enormous joy that I had the absoloute pleasure of crossing paths with yourself and Richard. I wish you nothing but peace and tranquility you both deserve as you enjoy these final stages of this life time.

I will forever rememeber sharing space with you both and having your amazing

knowledge you have always shared with us. You have a presence and gracefulness like no one else I have ever known.

My life has been brighter and better having known you for the time I have, with the very little personal meeting having one of the most impactful times on my life with in the pagan community, you gave me hope of a future in this world with out ego. For all of this I thank you, I thank you for always having krpt in touch I always read your updates, sadly rarely responded. I hope you remain enjoying the sunsets and watching the odd sunrise (way to early in my opinion for everyone lol)

I wish you and Richard a peaceful and eventless path forward, encompassed in love and light that you so deserve.

We will always love you both and you hold a very special peice of my heart as two of the most amazing men I have ever met. I was only speaking to a friend the other night of you and Richard while watching grave and frankie on netflix. If your looking for an amazing laugh together its worth the watch.

All out love always

Kelly and family. Xoxo

Jacqueline: “Good to hear from you with your thoughtful message and glad you are both functioning even if Richard has gotten skinny. Stay in touch to the extent you are so inclined and rest assured we won’t feel abandoned if you fall out of touch. We have wonderful memories to savor.” Drew: “RE: your decision to let go of emailing, I heartily approve. I know how much time and effort you put into it. Things change and I understand how it’s become a huge chore. Cut it loose. Bravo. Just as long as I know I can still get in touch with you when I need to. And know that I don’t expect lengthy, newsy responses from you on

those rare moments when I feel like sending a missive your way.” Darby: “Just to say you are both in my heart and my prayers. Do not feel you have to answer this at all. We'll speak perhaps when you are back in London. Just wanting to send you both Much love.” Norman:“ 'ON earth we are briefly gorgeous’ ocean vuong” Natacha: “Love you and can’t wait to see you snd squeeze you both when we get to [you].” Paul Heelas: “Dearest Michael, you are 84 or 85; I'm 78, coming 79. Like the greatest of the great figures whose music has so inspired baby boomers of alternative disposition, and who, with one of two exceptions (like two of the Beatles), remain rampant, it is a duty to complete the promises of a long life. There is a poem, somewhere, about 'aches and pains'. Big hugs from Paul”

Laura Wildman: “I will keep this brief and I do not expect a response. Knowing you and Richard has been one of the glitters of my life. Something sparkling, different, complex, educational, intriguing, but most of all beautiful. While our paths haven't had the opportunity to cross that often, each time has been magical and memorable. Thank you for the honor of being in your life. I dearly love you both. May we be given the sweet opportunity to meet one last time before we leave this life. If not, then may the Goddess grant us the opportunity to meet again in the next. Goddess bless you both and thank you.” Matt:

'I just wanted to say I love you both and understand the difficulty of communication. I am sorry I have never made it over to see you. The answer to this is that, as I have gotten older, my interest in travel has diminished, and I can always find reasons not to. Maybe these are only in my mind and an aspect of the depression that has plagued me since I was a child.

I have always enjoyed your missives and writings and will miss that, but I accept that you are doing what you need to cope with daily life. In 20 years, I will be in your age group and can see what is coming. I have always had many friends older than me and have watched and helped with many as they reached their advanced years.

I just wanted to let you know that there is no need to respond. Just know that I feel a kinship with you; you have been an example of how to gracefully move through life with all its ups and downs. I appreciate knowing you, and I follow your path when possible.'

Dear Noah:

'Dear Michael,

Reading your letter felt like listening to you speak — calm, thoughtful, and full of that clarity I’ve always admired in you.

I remember a similar letter from some time ago, where you said email had become too much and that you were going to slow down. And yet, you returned — and we kept writing, kept thinking together, kept sharing. Now, it seems you're entering a new season, more withdrawn, and I want to honor that, even if it stirs a quiet ache.

You mention being tired — and yes, I can feel the tone of acceptance in your words. It made me think of when I was preparing to leave for San Francisco, and how present you were in my life then. You gave me light, you gave me guidance, and I watched how you and Richard lived — illustrating with grace what it meant to savor the good things: beauty, culture, food, friendship, thoughtful rebellion, and thoughtful stillness.I’m saddened to hear Richard is frail now. I remember him differently — strong, lively, the kind of person who could carry someone asleep from the living room to bed without blinking. I remember him like that because he did that. Those moments remain with me, vivid and cherished.

You mentioned the rupture with your sister, and that resonated with me deeply. I too stopped speaking with mine. After our parents died, she sold the house and took everything. But unlike you, I don’t carry sorrow about that separation — just quiet resolve. I don't think I want to go back. Sometimes, love lets go — and sometimes, it has to.

"Education is not a preparation for life; education is life itself." That’s one of the many things you taught me. And it’s not just a quote. It’s how you lived — with curiosity, with courage, with unapologetic honesty. For a time, you let me be part of that life.

That was a gift.

You wrote that you treasure the connections and exchanges you’ve had with others. I want you to know that I treasure you. You — and Richard — are among the brightest diamonds in my life. One of the few I can count on one hand.

I don’t know if we’ll meet again in person. But something in me believes we’ll always be floating around each other somehow — in thought, in gratitude, in the echoes of things we once said.

So, let me say it plainly:

Thank you, Michael.

Thank you for your love, your home, your fierce intellect, your elegance, your

kindness.

Thank you for the salads and the Giants games.

Thank you for seeing me.

I love you both.

God bless you.

With all my heart,

Noah

Stay hard, stay hungry, stay alive!'

Liliane: “Much Love Michael. Not talking and not writing sewts me well. But i must say one thing: You have been all along my life so important to me and so présent even if we were far from each other. Thank you for all....” Léon: “Thank you for your digital letter—it was bittersweet, reflective, and honest. I wish you and Richard all the best. I won’t email you if you’re flooded by messages and wish to reduce correspondence, even if I always hoped we might meet again one day. And that hope will stand. Still, I’ve really enjoyed our contact, and I remember with real fondness when you and Richard visited us in Cuijk. I will always be grateful for your friendship and hospitality—I still remember the party you threw in Amsterdam during the 2009 ISSRNC conference. I bid you and Richard farewell, old friend—I wave at you, yet will keep looking out the window.”

Claire Bellenis: “Dearest Michael as ever your words and those sad that you will not be writing so much I totally understand. Understand. I can no longer actually read but things are read to me by the little man living in my iPad. He also writes what I tell him to but he can get very confused I love you both very much and wish you well in a difficult time of old-age we do the best we can and try our best to keep going with love in our hearts despite the dreadful news we are hearing all the time with all my love And so many thanks for your wonderful friendship, Claire”

Suzette Walpole: “I will always have you and Richard in my heart as I do your mom. Love you both.” Barbara McGraw: “Thank you for the many, many years of love and joy, which I will always hold in my heart.” Annie Sweet: “You have much more than tolérance, you have embraced all of us and given us warmth and love. An exceptional man; an exceptional couple.” Steve Sweet: “Thank you, Michael. Beautifully put.” Clare Levijoki: “I am glad to know you, even if I came to the game late. ” Julee Higginbotham: “Thank you Michael York.” Mary Alterator: “Much love to you and Richard . The expression of frustration and

relentless challenges is from the heart and taken to heart. I thank you and your generosity and exchanges over the years.” Heather Bayzand: “You both have been an inspiration. You have my thanks my love and admiration.” Marie Laure Legroux: “I have read your words and read them again, and again. Every sentence resonates and reverberates. Your graciously entwined lives have been a blessing of immense love and vast wisdom, still are in those autumnal years of yours. A beacon in our times of darkness. Your sacred gift. This light,

dearest Michael, never fades. Your beautiful legacy. Thank you.”

Angie Buchanan:

'Even as your bodies diminish, your lives, your words, and your wisdom grows brighter To me, they make you immortal. Though not yet having reached our Winter years, Drake and I have also drawn back, becoming as you know, very selective with whom we choose to spend our precious remaining life minutes, cutting off some, weaving some closer. The world of beauty and hope that we once knew, is no longer in a state recognizable to us and traveling through life with a broken heart and painful body is exhausting. We do what we can. You will always be successful in whatever realm to which you travel dear one, because you are loved so much by so many, and because you have loved so so deeply. Love is the only currency one can use to travel that final journey. I hope we get to see you one more time before any of us spins off this mortal

coil but if it is not to be, let us find one another in the Otherworlds again. Please tell Richard that I will never again, not look back to say goodbye and that I love him fiercely. Smiling through my tears. Tight but gentle hugs'

Kaye Kittredge: “Angie says it beautifully, please know how much your refined senses and elegant humanity have inspired so many of us! Fondly.”

Theitic:

'Oh, my dearest Michael,

I do understand. Communication can be very demanding, especially for those of us who grew up with “long-distance calling fees” and using envelopes and stamps!

I will do my best to curb communication, and PLEASE, never feel like you are obligated to reply. Often it helps me to just get things off my chest, even if only to a keyboard!

Much Love ❤ to you and Richard'

Zelda Hall:

'So beautifully expressed, Michael. Thank you.

I sense the distaste for haste. It is true, not merely a figment of the imagination of those of us who are growing old, that there is a speeding up, a continual sense of urgency, partly foisted on us by the western world. And the swiftness of electronic communication is a part of that.

For me, I must return to the water and the trees to calm my frazzled soul.

Come away o human child

To the waters and the wild.

A warm embrace to you and Richard.'

There is no way I can truly express my gratitude for these beautiful comments from so many I have been privileged to know, to be touched by, and to have touched. Richard and I are now dedicated to treasuring each day that there still is. We are blessed to be embraced by the Midi and for what is for us nothing less than paradise.